Christmas-Yes, and
The fragrant smell of balsam fir that permeates our home. Turkey, stuffing and roast potatoes with homemade gravy and cranberry sauce. Evening winter walks to admire the glittering lights that adorn the houses in my neighbourhood. Singing along to Christmas carols confident that I know every single word. These are the things I love about Christmas —yes and I’m Jewish.
Don’t get me wrong I DO NOT want to do away with Christmas! I just want others to consider that before Halloween even begins and the consumerism of Christmas is foisted upon us, that not everyone celebrates this Christian holiday. It’s the assumption that we’re all in this together that gets under my Semitic skin.
When grocery clerks ask me weekly during December if I’ve done my Christmas shopping yet, I have tried answering with different responses:
“I don’t celebrate Christmas” (which gets the worst response—downcast eyes and total silence).
“We don’t give gifts. Instead we rent a cottage for a week so can spend time with our children” (which is true and gets the best response).
“I celebrate Chanukah.” The young woman checking out my groceries raises her eyebrows and asks, “What’s that?”
Sigh.
I know I’m not alone. While the whole world shuts down on December 25th, not everyone celebrates Christmas. About one-third of the world’s total population is Christian, so what about the other two-thirds? Yes, and what about the people who don’t have anyone to celebrate with?
Saying "Happy Holidays” doesn’t cut it. While some other ‘holidays’ may occur around Christmas, most don’t. Chanukah often falls in the month of December, but not always. This year it is in November. Those who want to celebrate and acknowledge their important religious events: Yom Kippur, Diwali, Eid, Navratri, (none of which occur during December) must take vacation days from their work.
I acknowledge the attempts at being inclusive. At one of my former workplaces, every December there was a small candle filled menorah placed on a table beside the ten-foot tall elaborately decorated Christmas tree. When I informed the staff member responsible for the display that the candles are lit one per night for eight nights, they were then removed and I watched as a beautiful blue wax candle was added each day. The glow warmed my heart and it felt good to see knowledge gained. This was after all deemed a learning organization.
When I was young my family celebrated Chanukah and Christmas which was confusing. My Dad married three times and two of the three times they were women who were gentile, so he wanted to accommodate. When I questioned why we had a tree when we were Jewish, he said, “It’s a Chanukah bush and the decorations are blue and white like the colours of Israel.”
Chanukah is not a big holiday. The focus is on lighting the candles and sharing food with family. However, being Jewish I felt left out of the whole gift thing and there was a tendency to overcompensate. When my first husband and I divorced I gave up celebrating Christmas—which I did love by the way. I was the one that made Christmas happen: filling the stockings, sending the cards, cooking the dinner, and wrapping all the presents (with a special focus to ensure different wrapping paper for the gifts from Santa). I gave my ex all the Xmas tree decorations and paraphernalia and told him I was going back to my people, so he could carry on the traditions with our children and we wouldn’t have to compete to try to see the kids on Christmas day. I then went broke buying extravagant Chanukah gifts for my two children for eight days.
So, here’s what I think we all can do to begin to include the world’s actual majority who do not celebrate Christmas.
Yes, celebrate and keep all of the rituals and artifacts that are so important to carry on the tradition and beauty of Christmas and consider whether these symbols belong in personal or community spaces.
Yes, share Merry Christmas greetings and do this when you know the person celebrates the holiday.
Yes, wear “ugly” Christmas sweaters for a staff photo and consider how this might make the lone Muslim staff member feel.
Yes, fill the aisles in the stores with seasonal decorations and have a few boxes of Chanukah candles so I don’t have to drive an hour from my home to purchase them.
Yes, spread the message of love, peace, and joy to the world and this will enrich us all.